Sick
by AHHsila
Summary: Draco is in love with Ginny, Ginny is in love with Draco. Simple isn't it? Not a chance. Draco is trying to keep away from Ginny for her own safety... the only problem is he can't...
1. Chapter 1

He was sick, that's what it boiled down to; this entire situation was just plain sick. Draco Malfoy felt the effects of his illness as his stomach roiled painfully while his chest cavity continued to collapse on itself. What was he doing? Wandering the lonely castle halls at this Merlin-forsaken time he wondered, _just what in blazing hell am I doing?__  
_

Creeping into the Slytherin boy's seventh year rooms, he resolutely ignored the more than curious stares that followed him up to his room. He had been occupying this room since he began his fourth year at Hogwarts; it was supposedly Salazar's in his day. His father had funded the newest expansion of the hospital wing and ensured Draco no longer had to share the room with Blaise. The room was spacious, housing a writing desk in one corner and several bookshelves along the adjoining walls. He didn't see any of it now. He only saw her, smelt her on his skin; fisting his hands as he collapsed on his bed he could still feel her warm flesh under his fingers. A guttural sob escaped him then and his face twisted all the more for his display of weakness, even though there was no one to see it.

Ginny... 

Her name, her face, her eyes that looked up at him, filled with trust and love even as he abused both these qualities in her. Pushing the heels of his palms into his eyes he breathed heavily in order to try and relieve some of the pressure he felt building up there. It was no use, nothing was of any use these days, he was in hell, burning in a fire of his own making and he was too weak to reach for his only way out. 

Ginny... 

How could he do this to her? He loved her, they both knew he did, but why couldn't he just take that leap. A bitter smile marred his features then, he knew why, had known since he was old enough to walk. He was weak. His father had beaten it into his very soul, this knowledge. 

Ginny Weasley was roused from her slumber by sleepy and cranky looking Hermione. "Ginny, we really have to stop these nightly wanderings of yours; it's very dangerous and very much against the rules. If I didn't know better I'd think you were sneaking out to see some boy..." Hermione paused at the look of heartache on her friends face. "Don't look at me like that Hermione, I'm trying to hold on to what little sanity I have left these days and you talking about...him...doesn't help this late at night..." It physically hurt her to speak of him. One Draco Malfoy, once her Draco Malfoy, now just a ghost haunting her heart and lately her dreams.

Once Hermione had seen Ginny was asleep in her bed, the youngest Weasley was left to her wandering and muddied thoughts. 

Draco... 

How could after all this time she still smell him on skin? How after three tortuous weeks could she still feel the sweet ache between her legs he always left? Tossing and turning in her bed Ginny mulled over these thoughts. Feeling her pjs stick to her uncomfortably Ginny realised something was amiss. Dreams were one thing, and she had always been a sleepwalker, but the dreams she had been having lately... 

They were too much, too intense, too heart wrenchingly painful. In the past two weeks she had woken up in the same hall just off Gryffindor six out of the fourteen nights with no memory of what she had been doing, only snatches of haunting dreams in which Draco came to her vowing never to leave her again. It couldn't be true...

He had ended things, she had given him her entire self and he had thrown it back in her face. He would never stand up to his father and even the use of that word to describe Lucius Malfoy was an overstatement. Ginny grimaced thinking of the man that had shaped, no deformed Draco so much. The stories he had told her of his childhood were a far cry from the macabre acts she expected in the Malfoy household but the utter lack of warmth was enough to warp any child. Ginny could no longer ignore the cryptic missives, the gentle dismissals, she could almost feel the dark mark's impression on his skin, the time was fast approaching for Draco Malfoy to choose his destiny.  
..._And he did, it wasn't me.___

It was these thoughts and the bitter tears that usually accompanied them that carried Ginny Weasley to sleep, a deep, though not quite peaceful slumber that left her exhausted and confused the next day.

-

The next day dawned as they always did even though Draco Malfoy was far than pleased with the progession of time. After scrubbing himself until he was lobster-esque in the shower he scowled at his reflection knowing he could never wash completely clean. His sins were as dark as the mark itself and try as he might to be valiant and stay away from Ginny, he knew he would seek her out again and again until he was caught in his horrible little game. 

Breakfast was of little fanfare which was unusual in itself considering that moony old fool was still running the place. Eating was of little interest to him although he forced down a bagel so as not to clue and any prying eyes of his mental condition. Oh no, he had made that mistake the first day after he had kicked a crying Ginny out of his rooms fifteen minutes after curfew. 

"Drakie, why aren't you eating? Has that Weasley trash done something? You know your father could always arrange an accident for her... Are you alright my love?" Pansy cackled evilly with her eyes trained like hounds on Draco. Any sign of disruption would be reported to his father. Any sign of disruption was a sign of weakness.

Draco's father had ordered his son to cease all association with the "...filthy Weasley offspring" as he had so charmingly put it. Pansy delivered the news of his relationship with Ginny after she spotted the redhead sneaking out of Draco's room one night. Seeing the boy to whom she was betrothed in so much pain, caused by her hand made Pansy practically swoon. He would pay for the cold indifference he showed her, they were meant to be together, she would not tolerate otherwise.

His thoughts carried him through his meal and out of the hall...

He was robbed of movement by only the sight of her hair; that gorgeous shade of dulled crimson that spoke volumes of her quiet light that warmth all around her. Without any heed his memories from the night before came rushing back to him.

It was dark... very dark. He waited for her like he did every night, in this same hallway just out of reach of the fat lady's prying eyes and ears. Hearing her shuffling footsteps sped his heart like nothing else on this world or the next. When she rounded the corner and practically trampled his foot he took ahold of her mouth and upper torso with his hands. The muffled shriek did nothing to alert the ears of Hogwarts, the castle had too many young hearts to tend to these nights it seemed. "Shh...Gin it's me..."  
"Draco?"  
"The one and only..." He smiled, but his grin was that of a tortured man and Ginny flung herself into his arms sobbing uncontrollably.  
"Shh...baby shh..." He rocked her gently back and forth calming her hysterics and easing her tears with kisses. She eyed him then with the glint of hope that always broke and refreshed his heart. "Draco...what are you doing here?" He should tell her, tell her what he has been doing for the past two weeks without her permission, without her knowledge. He should confess all his sins and cling to her, she would forgive him. She always forgave him. But he is not as strong as she believes him to be so he looks her in the eye and speaks the lie that being a Malfoy has perfected in him.  
"I'm...coming with you Gin, at the end of the term...I'm not going home to my father...I...I can't lose you..."  
Her reaction is always the same she tackles him to the floor and holds him so tightly that he is warmed to the core despite the chilly ground they reside on. Her kisses turn more urgent... her hands seek and strip him of any and all clothing she can find and bunching her ratty excuse for a nightie she joins them. Sometimes she asks why he is so ready for her, so hard. Most nights she just enjoys the feeling of completion of finally bringing him with her into the light. Tonight is no different she smiles blissfully at him riding him like the glorious creation she is. She smirks evilly squeezing him tightly causing him to grit his teeth and think of England lest this sick little game end too quickly.

When they are spent, lying in a boneless heap on each other she props her chin on his chest, looking up into his eyes with love so pure that he sometimes squints at its power. "Explain. Or no more sex for you!" She smiles in contentment eyes drooping awaiting his valiant tale of defiance and love...

It never comes. Reaching for his wand he taps between her eyebrows, the mind's eye, and whispers the memory charm so potente that even Lucius doesn't remember teaching it to him because Draco turned his wand on his father the moment he could get away with it. Leaving a slumbering Ginny leaning against the wall Draco runs, no_... _scurries like an evil rat, away from the scene of his crime.

This is the last time... A mantra he repeats in his head over and over and he descends into the dungeons and returns to hell. He is burning again, already the shame and evil of what he has done has marred the memory of him and Ginny together, he has only the blackest hate spreading like cancer through his veins to keep him company in the darkness of his bed.  
This is the last time..._  
_...Ginny...

Hey guys, my first full fledged attempt at writing a fanfic, PLZ review and let me know what you think. Definitley need a beta for the grammatical stuff or advice in general! lemme know if anyone is interested =) thanks!


	2. Chapter 2

Days seem to slip by without Ginny really noticing them anymore, it had been at least a month since Draco had left her in the Slytherin Dungeons to fend for herself, now if she could only get her subconscious mind to stop dreaming of D…Malfoy she could begin testing the waters of living again. Make no mistake, she went to class, ate with friends… those who didn't try too hard to involve her in conversation, studied in the noisy common room until her eyes hurt from the exercise and fell heavily into bed every night for the past week. Ginny had learned very early that the best way to get over something was to surround herself with people that cared but not enough to question why she had suddenly dropped into silence in the middle of a conversation. The chatter around her acted as a constant cover of white noise to distract her and her bleeding heart from the gigantic hole that lay aching between her ribs at any given moment.

Of course there were the times she caught him, standing still as a statue staring at her with eyes that pushed and pulled at the same time…

…Ginny was working hard to free herself from Dr…Malfoy's tide however, like her subconscious, gravity just didn't seem to care what she was working for or how hard.

Today was different though, no matter how diligently she tried to take down Snape's instructions on making the strengthening solution her mind and pen wandered to far off places and before she knew it tears were pooling in her eyes blurring her vision and constricting her throat. Swiping angrily at the silly saltine drops she barely noticed when a tear or two caught to the rim of the cauldron hanging innocently there until she was stirring her finished product four times clockwise. As soon as the first tear hit the surface of the satisfactorily blue potion it turned a foul mauve and began to hiss menacingly. When the second drop hit the turbulent brew purple gave way to black and it began to bubble in earnest. "Weasley, can't you do anything right? No wonder he…" Snape had skulked up from some corner to loom over her as he always did and deducted 20 points for wasting class time. "You will report back to this classroom at 8 o'clock sharp to clean up the mess you've made and brew a proper strengthening solution or I shall have you enlisted in remedial potions immediately!"

It wasn't until she was half way through her steadily cooling stew that alarm shot through her like lightning. _"Did he say what I thought he said?" _The idea that her professor, a former death eater and supposed double spy knew of her and Dra…. Malfoy's involvement sent cold dread rocketing down her spine causing the hairs on her neck to stand at full attention to the real danger she could have placed herself in. _"Impossible…how could he know? Why would he let that slip…?"_

These thoughts and more haunted Ginny along the steps down to the dungeon, these steps she knew so well for reasons she would not have any other living soul aware of if she could help it. She would confront Snape about his knowledge, see if she could gain any information that might…

_"That might what Gin-girl? Get him back? Get him to abandon his entire family his entire past and come swooping into your arms? …Stupid girl…he's weak, as weak as you were when you did all those nasty horrible things to your friends…remember?" _ It was no voice but her own cutting her hopes to shred before her eyes but Ginny had to know… Did Drac…Malfoy tell someone about them? Did he go to Snape for help and get turned away?

_"…Did he try to find a way to me?"_

She had to know.


End file.
